At 3 Days Overdue

So we went to see the midwife today. I am 3 days overdue and the baby's head is not in the pelvis. Apparently this is not a good thing. Usually with a first birth the head is in the pelvis by now.

We may be looking at an induction.

In fact, we go back to see the midwife on Tuesday the 11th. That same day we will go to the hospital to do a fetal non-stress test - I will be hooked up to various monitors for about 2 hours to assess movement and heartbeat. The idea is to check that the placenta is working and still providing baby with oxygen and nutrition. On the 14th we will have an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid and baby's muscle tone - again to make sure the placenta is doing it's job. On the 16th we will most likely be induced. Although if the testing on the 11th and 14th shows that everything is okay, we could wait a bit longer to see if things progress naturally.

The midwife had to have this talk with us today and set up these dates.

She also indicated that a lot can happen in the next few days and that it wouldn't be unusual for the baby's head to move down.

She suggested that we go for walks, that I spend some time on my hands and knees and/or in the squat position, that I use the birthing ball, that I keep moving around, etc.

We left and had a lot to process. This is not exactly our plan. Yet we want to be safe for the baby and me.

Waiting... Part 2

I am so ready.

Waiting...

Today is the due date.

4 More Days

The birth pool is set up. Not filled, of course, but set up and waiting.

39w1d

39 weeks, 1 day


I have been collecting a 24 hour urine sample today/ tonight/ tomorrow, due to protein in my urine. I have no other symptoms of anything. Could be an infection. The midwife wants to look into it.

39 Weeks - Today!

Home visit with the midwife last night.

Pee'd on a stick and I had protein in my urine. Sugar was good. BP was good. But protein in my urine. Not sure what it means. She had me come into the clinic today to check my urine again. There was protein in it again. She was seeing someone - so she'll call me later and let me know what it means. She really wasn't too concerned last night...

She palpated my uterus and while the baby's head is down - and moving downward - she believes I will make it to my due date. I was really feeling "ready" Sunday night. But I think that was more anticipation and eagerness. I can't wait to meet this little one. In the meantime, I must be patient.

We also picked up the water birth equipment from the clinic. Hoses and pumps and stuff.

Just over 38 weeks

Tried installing the car seat base yesterday and couldn't figure it out. Went to the fire station because we'd heard that they can help. They were nice but told us they can't help because of a recent liability issue. They gave us the number of an agency that can help. So at some point today I have a phone call to make.

We went to C0stc0 yesterday as well and spent over $200 on stuff - we stocked up on cleaning products, laundry detergent, toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, etc. so that we don't have to do that sort of shopping in the next few months. Hoping to save some $$$ while we are both on mat leave.

A assembled the stroller and swing and put up a little coat rack in the baby's room. She also put up blinds on the window in the closet in the baby's room.

I am finding that I am not as hungry and when I am hungry I want sugary-floury things. I am sleepy during the day and awake at night. Not uncomfortable but not always comfortable. Just waiting.

We did a plaster cast of my belly last night. Fun and it turned out really cool. I have some ideas about how I want to paint it. But not a lot of energy right now to paint it.

Photo Friday

Here is my 37 week photo. Actually 37 week and 1 day. At my last appointment with the midwives - the day before I hit 37 weeks - I measured 37 and 1/2 weeks. For whatever reason various people in our life are suggesting I am going to give birth sooner than later. Personally I think people are just eager to meet our little one. I have a feeling our little one is going to hold on until September. But that's just me. Only the little one knows, really.



I made some flannel diaper inserts,

several flannel burp cloths,

and 12 flannel post partum pads.


I am working on flannel breast pads, now. After buying 6 for $11.99 last week, I thought I could make my own!

It sounds like I have a lot of energy right now. I don't, really. In fact, I've noticed that I've been more sleepy and way less energetic this past week. Yesterday I started making dinner and let A finish so that I could nap. A nap at like 5pm! It felt very first trimester to me. Oh well.

I am so glad I am not working right now.

Term!

Today = TERM!

Last therapy appointment for awhile today. A few sessions ago I'd indicated to L that I will probably not be doing therapy until the new year - mainly for financial reasons... (I am going on mat leave and so is A and we will have less $$$).

We talked today about how in therapy I've felt like I've had nothing to work on really - and that I've been feeling that way for the last 6 months. In the last 3 months we've done a lot of hypno-birthing work and not necessarily the "real work" of therapy. She also said that in many ways we haven't done the "real work" of therapy because she hasn't pushed it - pregnancy is a unique time to focus inward in different ways that traditional therapy. She suggested however that after the baby is born I may feel like there is work to be done again. At the very least, processing the birth itself is important. I get that.

We also talked about my tendancy toward depression and how it may/ may not manifest itself after giving birth. We talked about the time of the year - I'll be giving birth in September and by November winter will set in... and winter in London, Ontario can be hard and depressing. I talked about how work has always "saved" me from "winter blues" in many ways because in teaching I had purpose and on long cold days I could get lost in lesson planning and then get out of the house 5 days a week to teach exciting lessons and get students going on interesting projects.

I suppose as a mother my purpose will still be there - but different.

We talked about getting me out of the house. To which I said, "I hate the cold - I hate the snow..." And I anticipate not having a lot of money... so what does one do on a cold day with little money? She waited as though I'd answer that question myself. But I asked her again, "Really... what does one do on a cold day with little money and an infant?" She suggested taking an infant massage class - I like that idea (though I think it might be expensive). And I know that the doula centre very near my house offers infant massage. What about a trip to the library? Central library is huge and has great parking and good food in their cafe... I love the library system here. I could sit and read with our baby in a sling. Perhaps I should start putting books on hold. Swimming or a Mom and Baby Yoga class? (Expensive - maybe).

Something else she asked me: Are you okay with telling A that you don't have all the answers when it comes to dealing with an infant? I think I am. She asked this because she knows that I can be intellectual and a perfectionist. That dealing with an infant is unpredictable and that they don't come with instruction books. She reminded me that when I started teaching and was in a classroom for the first time not a lot from teacher's college applied and there was a learning curve to deal with. Caring for an infant is the same thing. Theory and practice can overlap but usually don't. She also knows that I can kick my own ass if I am "not doing it right." That I can get down on myself if I don't have the answers and/or feel a certain level of competency. I tend to turn inward when I am struggling with something. She knows this.

But you know what? I am so glad that A is off for the first 3 months. We can definitely figure this out together.

37 weeks Tomorrow

Met with the midwife today. A new one. All is well. We are on to weekly appointments now.

Aftwards we went to Prince Alberts Diner for lunch and Funky Monkey to browse baby stuff. Bought two books - one for baby and one for the mamas (something like The Happiest Baby on the Block).

36 Weeks - Midwife - Sewing - Pillowcases - Parties

We met another midwife on Tuesday at my 36 week appointment. Jane. She was older with long greying hair. Hippie midwife. She did the homebirth talk with us. Very thorough. I feel kind of like I felt when we finished our child birth classes - fearful-ish and overwhelmed.

We went shopping for most of our homebirth supplies after the appointment.

I've gained 37 pounds. My BP is great. Heartbeat in the 150s. Good. Head down. No protein or sugar in my urine. Good.

* * * * *

Yesterday my work threw us a baby shower. We got lots of stuff. It was like x-mas.

I've spent much of today washing baby clothes, burp cloths, diapers, booties, etc. I'm feeling very nesty. And I am loving putting the stuff away. I can't wait.

* * * * *

I've made burp cloths and diaper inserts. I bought more flannel so I can make breast pads and post partum pads.

While at the fabric store A came up with an idea. Instead of x-mas stockings we should have x-mas pillow cases. She always thought as a kid it would be fun to get a bunch of stuff in a pillow case. They had a lot of x-mas type fabric at the fabric store and we checked it out. I think x-mas pillow cases are fun. So we shall see.

* * * * *

I have thank you notes to write.

This is a good thing

My mom garage sale shops and finds baby clothes. She washes them up. And gives them to us.

Just thought I'd share.

My boobs are leaking.

Random-ish

I am lazy about housework. I just am. Haven't always been. But I am since becoming pregnant. And I suppose it isn't fair to A.

I want to spend today making burp cloths - then I want to go to the fabric store and get more fabric for burp cloths. I am interested in making my own post-partum pads as well. So maybe the next time I go to the fabric store I'll get what I need for that.

Paid some bills today - that felt good. Soon my credit card debt will be gone.

My ideal day today is one in which I finish burp cloths, tidy up the house, finish pre-reg paperwork for the hospital, and eat well. Oooh maybe I should make some supper for A as well.

Since the midwife appointment this past Tuesday I know that A is thinking a lot about the birth. I think she is anxious.

34 Week Appointment

34 Week Appointment with the midwife today. Everything looks good.

At one point the midwife said, "Labour is so much FUN!"

And she genuinely meant it.

It's all about the cupcakes...

A made these for the baby shower her work people threw for us on Sunday.

Taken a Few Days Before Week 33

Face my Fears

I have to admit it. I have been in a bit of a funk. I think that I am starting to get nervous about actually giving birth. I can't picture it in my head. Nor should I try, really. My fears are not pin-pointable. And they are leading to nervousness and anxiety. I want to try to shift it all over the next few days and come to some sense of peace. I think it is important that I face my feelings and not resist. I can come out the other side.

50

I just looked at my pregnancy ticker today - we have 50 days to go.

I Have Felt Better and Other News

32 weeks yesterday. And I have had a headache since yesterday afternoon. It was really bad this a.m. so I took 2 regular strength ty1eno1. It didn't go away. So I paged the midwife - because headache that doesn't go away is on the list of things to page about. So I am going in at 3 to have my blood pressure and urine checked.

And even though I am in an air conditioned house I am very aware that it is hot outside. My feet are swelling a bit, and I am just generally feeling that muggy fatigued feeling.

ETA: BP 120 over 70, no protein in urine... just a headache. Maybe a tension headache.

* * * * *

In other news, I went to therapy yesterday morning. Pre-headache. We talked about many things.

A few nights ago A and I were in bed chit-chatting about the future as we were falling asleep. A said, "Soon it won't be just the two of us anymore." I felt sad. Then I felt guilty for feeling sad. I am happy and excited for the future. I can't wait to meet our baby. I can't wait to be a mom. I love that we are having the opportunity to raise a child together. After 10 years together - 10 years! - I feel like I might miss just the two of us. And I can't see what the future holds - I can only guess. I will miss the way we talk about everything. I will miss the way we know each other. Will we still have that? So I talked about this in therapy. I couldn't believe how much I cried. I felt guilty. I feel guilty.

Therapist said the guilt and the sadness are acceptable - and make sense. She made practical suggestions about date nights and babysitters and time together, etc. She talked about how in our society couples put the kids first and then lose track of each other over the years - feel lonely as a result. She talked about how she deals with couples who are finished raising the kids - and they struggle because they are strangers to each other when the kids move out, or they have affairs because someone else is paying attention to them.

One thing that she said that really stands out now: "It is important to continue to nurture the relationship you two have with each other, as it will contribute deeply to your success as parents and your child's overall well-being."

Makes sense. We came together because of love. We wanted to make a family because of our love. Our baby is made from our love. So let's keep that love alive.