Monday, December 3, 2007

Chill the F**k Out and TRUST

Last Monday we stopped in at the midwives, dropped off some pregnancy books, and weighed little C. She is 11lbs 1oz with her clothes on. So um yeah she is gaining. Of course though it didn't take long for me to start worrying again - especially after some really difficult feedings where she whines and pulls on and off the nipple and seems to give up. Last night was me worrying. But today she is back on, eating really well. I just need to go with the flow. As my dear friend AMS would say: chill the f**k out and trust.

Most of the holiday stuff is up. With a new little one in the house holidays have new meaning. Last x-mas we were down. Partner, A, was sadder than I knew. We'd had a m/c in October and IUI in December (with no results until after x-mas) and not feeling to positive. It's weird, though, A was telling me yesterday just how sad she was. I don't remember her sadness so much. Not because I was focused on my own sadness. Because I wasn't that sad. I remember putting up the holiday stuff alone - I think I remember A saying she didn't want holiday stuff up. I had a Solstice Celebration at our house with some friends and I remember that being pretty wonderful (little did I know that whilst celebrating Solstice I was newly newly pregnant so newly that a test wouldn't show it for several days after Solstice).

I have pretty fond memories of last December. Making pretty fond memories this December.


Jen said...

deven totally went through the pulling off and crying thing. it's annoying but i found that when i put the boob away, she cries for more so, it's not like she's not hungry. i keep thinking that every. single. thing. she's doing is something new and so, she's constantly experiementing.

and, here's to the best first holiday ever!

sandra said...


how old is Deven?