Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Life in a Snow Belt
I just know that the warm weather is around the corner. Even though more snow and dipping temps are predicted. That's life in a snow belt.
A's three days off in a row end tomorrow. She goes back in the morning. We've spent the time well.
A looked after C today for a bit and I had a luxurious nap. The two of them sorted through clothes that C has outgrown. I see her everyday and I am aware that she is growing, but I had no idea just how much until I looked through the box A will be dropping off at the G00dwill. Our little baby is growing up. Anyway...
Tomorrow I'm hoping that C and I will get out and go to the library. I have books to return and new ones to pick up. I have mad library love right now. I used their on-line search thingy to check out various titles that I am interested in. What fun!
A's three days off in a row end tomorrow. She goes back in the morning. We've spent the time well.
A looked after C today for a bit and I had a luxurious nap. The two of them sorted through clothes that C has outgrown. I see her everyday and I am aware that she is growing, but I had no idea just how much until I looked through the box A will be dropping off at the G00dwill. Our little baby is growing up. Anyway...
Tomorrow I'm hoping that C and I will get out and go to the library. I have books to return and new ones to pick up. I have mad library love right now. I used their on-line search thingy to check out various titles that I am interested in. What fun!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Bitter Sweet
C turned 6 months today. I swear she grew a bunch overnight! She was born 6 months ago at 6:50pm. I didn't know I had a baby girl until I woke up at 10 to 8pm - well after that when the nurse in recovery found out and then told me. I had C via c-section and I was under a general anaesthetic. My heart hurts that I was not there to welcome her to the world. Even more that her baba couldn't be there to welcome her. I feel tremendous sadness about it all today. We looked at the clock at various points and said, 6 months ago right now contractions started, the midwife came, water broke, left for the hospital, she was born, etc.
Last week I was aware of the intense fear I felt when they rolled me in to the OR - feeling contractions and freaking scared of the general and the knife and for my baby's life.
Today it is sadness.
And I am so happy she is here, so pleased, so in love, so in awe. She is everything. Everything to me. My heart aches with these joyful feelings too.
Last week I was aware of the intense fear I felt when they rolled me in to the OR - feeling contractions and freaking scared of the general and the knife and for my baby's life.
Today it is sadness.
And I am so happy she is here, so pleased, so in love, so in awe. She is everything. Everything to me. My heart aches with these joyful feelings too.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Book Love
I have (re)discovered the library in my limited income maternity leave ways. And I am a bit nostalgic about it. It's like I am back at college. It helps that the library system in this city is pretty effing amazing.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Intense Baby
Mamas of babies who are past 6 months: Please tell me it is normal for my almost 6 month old to get so freaking frustrated (to the point where she screams) at not being able to crawl to desired toys. Please tell me it is normal for my almost 6 month old to have what appears to be a tantrum because she can't roll back over.
And please help me out here. Do I just fetch the toys for her (this is what I am doing)? Or, help her move/creep/crawl to the toy? Or, just let her figure it out (you know as a way to gain the crawling skills)?
Should I be worried that her freaking out now is somehow indicative of the intensity of her personality and that when she is 2 she is going to have major tantrums? Is there a correlation?
And please help me out here. Do I just fetch the toys for her (this is what I am doing)? Or, help her move/creep/crawl to the toy? Or, just let her figure it out (you know as a way to gain the crawling skills)?
Should I be worried that her freaking out now is somehow indicative of the intensity of her personality and that when she is 2 she is going to have major tantrums? Is there a correlation?
Book Meme
I was tagged(!) by Owl at Enough Grows.
Rules:
1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.
Until we heal original relationships, we will never truly be in fresh relationships with others.
My dad had driven the twenty mintes from his home in Oakmont to meet me for dinner in Sonoma. We met at a coffee shop in a shopping center that had a supermarket, a bagel shop, and a Rite Aid drugstore. We ate our sandwiches and caught up on the news about Nicole, the house, dad's lady friend, sharing warm feelings. When we finished eating we left arm in arm and walked around the shopping center on a mission to find a single razor blade for his shaver.
The book is Buddha Mom by Jacqueline Kramer and it is way more ineteresting than the sentences above might lead you to believe.
Okay so I am supposed to tag 5 other people - this is where the whole meme thing stresses me out... so... um... if you want to do this meme do it (and let me know that you did)... and to my reader Jen (with no blog), you have been tagged to do it in the comments for this post.
Thanks.
Rules:
1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.
Until we heal original relationships, we will never truly be in fresh relationships with others.
My dad had driven the twenty mintes from his home in Oakmont to meet me for dinner in Sonoma. We met at a coffee shop in a shopping center that had a supermarket, a bagel shop, and a Rite Aid drugstore. We ate our sandwiches and caught up on the news about Nicole, the house, dad's lady friend, sharing warm feelings. When we finished eating we left arm in arm and walked around the shopping center on a mission to find a single razor blade for his shaver.
The book is Buddha Mom by Jacqueline Kramer and it is way more ineteresting than the sentences above might lead you to believe.
Okay so I am supposed to tag 5 other people - this is where the whole meme thing stresses me out... so... um... if you want to do this meme do it (and let me know that you did)... and to my reader Jen (with no blog), you have been tagged to do it in the comments for this post.
Thanks.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
But Today is Not the Day
Reading others' February 29 posts has made me realise that there is so much more I could write. So much more that I need to write. I don't know where to begin. I don't have the energy. I am afraid to open the door to all those feelings. Others' posts have me aware. And inspired.
I know now that ttc and pregnancy and birth are all about loss. Things that are essentially all about creating new life are also about loss.
I know now that there are so many people out there who can say it so much better than me. It is amazing what happens when someone (or in the case of February 29, many someones) put words to so many things that I have thought, have felt, still think, still feel.
I know now that ttc and pregnancy and birth are all about loss. Things that are essentially all about creating new life are also about loss.
I know now that there are so many people out there who can say it so much better than me. It is amazing what happens when someone (or in the case of February 29, many someones) put words to so many things that I have thought, have felt, still think, still feel.
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