Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Ultimately, My Wish...

I find it hard just lately to do my daily update on my other blog http://mygratitudeproject.blogspot.com/. Partly because C is busy in different ways and takes more of time and sometimes less of my time. She can occupy herself for stretches of time with her toys. She has really discovered toys. She sits - can't get into a sitting position on her own, but can stay sitting upright on her own - and plays. I watch her. And try to catch her when she tumbles to one side or the other. She is so cute. Sitting up babies who play with their toys are cute.

It is as though I am not in the room sometimes. It's like she forgets. Plays. Plays. Plays. Then looks up, looks for me, sees me, goes back to playing.

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I find it hard to update my other blog because it's hard to settle my mind. I am feeling happy. I am feeling anxious about going back to work for the month of June. I am hating that we are running out of money. The bills keep coming and the government just doesn't pay enough maternity benefit. Well, they do... I am just one of these people who feels more secure when I have money tucked away. We are tapping into the tucked away money and it feels... well... less secure. So yeah these kind of feelings make it hard to update the other blog. Perhaps if I look at these feelings, then... it'll be easier.

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So out in "ttc blog land" I'd like to see some BFPs soon. Seriously. It seems there is a lack of BFPs - at least in the circle of blogs in which I move. So that is my wish. For those who are in your 2ww or soon to be in your 2ww, may you get your BFP. [more babies! more babies! more babies!]

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