Today was the last appointment with the midwife. I was actually feeling a bit tearful as we waited for her.
She checked Carys out. She's now 9lbs 8oz and 22 inches long. Strong and alert. Meeting milestones.
Then she talked to me. She asked if we'd ever do it again (have another baby). I asked if what happened during the birth (fast/ hard contractions, water breaking w/meconium, placenta separating, baby distress, emergency c-section under general anaesthesia) would happen again. Not likely. Would I be considered high risk? No. But you probably couldn't do a homebirth (because of the c-section). Would you be our midwife again? Absolutely.
I felt good that she'd be our midwife again.
We have two more tries (Carys' donor) at the clinic.
To tell the truth, I think I am considering another baby because I want another pregnancy because of my birth experience with Carys. Not exactly the best reason to want another baby. Good thing I have to actually go to a clinic to get pregnant.
If and when we get pregnant again it will be because we want another baby. I will have healed by then. My motivations will be clear.