I originally posted this in Queer_ttc on LiveJournal, after the moderator asked for success stories.
We started ttc in September 2004. [And our estimated due date is September 4, 2007].
We were referred to our local REI clinic. They performed the HSG (found out that left tube was slightly blocked)... and they ran bloodwork (on both of us). I am 34 now - will be 35 in November.
In early 2005 our first three cycles were cancelled. I was ovulating past day 20 and my period started 6-8 days after ovulation. And - they weren't even sure I was ovulating. All three of these cycles were clomid cycles.
By June 2005 I was ready to take a break. I started acupuncture. We got legally married in September 2005. From September 2005 to February 2006 I attended a once a month therapy retreat type thingy and I did a lot of work around ttc, motherhood, childhood issues, etc.
After the therapy retreat thingy I started full force on ttc. The first try in 2006 (I think March) was non-medicated... I ovulated later (day 20-ish) but surged wonderfully all on my own. (Acupuncture, I believe, helped... and perhaps all that damn therapy as well...) I was put on progesterone because my luteal phase was short.
The next try (I think in May 2006) was medicated - I was shooting up Puregon and triggering with HcG. Clinic did almost daily bloodwork and bunches of transvaginal ultrasounds. I ovulated earlier (day 15-ish) and still took the progesterone.
The next try was in June/ July - same thing as the try in May. Not getting pregnant was particularly devastating for this try. I am a teacher, I was off for the summer and I was thinking that because my stress load had decreased surely I'd be pregnant by the time I returned to school in the fall, right? Wrong. I remember us eating cheeseburgers the day the beta came back negative.
We switched donors - mainly because we'd run out of the one we were using and he was no longer available - for our September 2006 try. [By the way, we went through 4 donors total - but only used 2]. I was back in work. Coming in close to the morning bell on bloodwork days and missing every other morning for ultrasounds - feeling stressed. I had a student teacher, more stress. But in early October we found out we were pregnant. [I had tested too early and thought for sure the cycle was bust - we even began researching other options...] Less than two weeks later I miscarried. Oh, and I should point out that the timing for the insemination was changed from 24 hours after trigger shot to 36 hours after the trigger shot - really the only difference.
On November 27 my period returned post-m/c. This to me was good news. The clinic stops taking Day 1 calls on December 1st so that they can have most procedures done by X-mas and New Year so people can take a holiday. I shot up the Puregon and ended up surging on my own. [I did ovulate from the left side, which apparently had a block, according to HSG, and was advised to cancel the cycle - but chose not to...] We did a pee test on Boxing Day and found out I was pregnant... I'll never forget that day - we danced around the bathroom. I had to wait for the beta results because the clinic was closed - so even though I had the blood drawn for the beta we had to wait until well after the new year for the number. [It was a difficult time because I kept thinking I'd miscarry before we got the results - based on what happened in October...] Anyway, the day 18 beta was 936. A lovely number. Lovely compared to my day 18 in October.
I had some spotting at various points in this pregnancy - which is scary. I've had 4 months of evening sickness. Now I am feeling pretty good. Most days I feel amazing and blessed. While I was sick in those early months my partner took good care of me and painted/decorated the nursery - she did a bunch of odd jobs around the house - and basically nested her ass off. We've paid off a lot of our debt. I am now off for the summer (and the next school year)... and now we wait.
I am glad we stuck with it. I am glad we turned to each other when times got tough - and times did get tough, that's for sure. I am glad that I took breaks as well. At the time I didn't want to take a break - but knew that somehow it would be a good thing. I am glad that we did our best to feel our feelings each time the test came back negative. Because we really grew a lot in this process - and feeling the feelings helped with the growth. When I look back I really believe we had to go through all that we went through - including the miscarriage. We've become closer, and stronger. It helped us to look at it all as a ladder - each test, try, the miscarriage, etc. is a step on the ladder bringing us closer to the top.