Little Things

I've been a bit MIA lately. Maybe it is the weather or the fact that my little one is becoming more and more mobile making it harder and harder for me to post. I thought it would be nice to tell you all some of the cute/clever little things baby C is doing these days.

When she wants to be picked up she holds her arms up. The other day we walked to the local deli/bakery - she was in her stroller. I am balancing cheese and bread and whatnot and she raises her arms to me. So, what do you do? I put the bread and cheese and whatnot in her stroller like it's a shopping cart and I pick her up. Luckily the tiny deli/bakery place was not packed (it often is) and I was able to maneuver through. I had her happily back in her stroller by the time we got to the register to pay.

We have this hanging stuffed bug toy over her changing table to distract her when we change her diaper. We call it "spider bug" and when we're done I will often wave to the spider bug and say "bye bye spider bug" as we transition from diaper changing to the next task. Yesterday baby C waved bye bye to the spider bug.

We have 3 cats. One in particular is quite fond of C. The feeling is mutual. He's an old handsome guy called Eddie. Often when he enters the room I will ask C, "where's Eddie?" And she will look around and stop looking when she sees him. Then she will let out a soft squeal to get his attention. She also saves her "dadadada" sounds for when Eddie is around. I'm think her first word is going to be some variant of Eddie.

She tried organic brown rice cereal for the first time this week. In fact, it has been a bit of a mid-morning meal for her all week. When the spoon comes close to her mouth she takes it from me and puts it in her mouth, sucks the cereal off the spoon, then hands it back to me.

She is also starting to experience a bit of separation anxiety. She will cry when I leave the room. This pretty much started yesterday. Before that she'd often look up from her toys to check if I am still there, see me, and go back to playing. Now she looks for me often. And if I get up to leave she cries. I am kind of glad it is starting now and not the day I go back to work (like 6 weeks from now). But I don't know how to handle it. Do I come back right away? Do I go on with what I was doing?

Going Bananas

C had a bit of organic banana in her mesh feeder today. Her first solid food ever. When she was finished she put the feeder down on the tray - dramatically, I might add - and then pulled her bib off and put it on the tray.

Exactly 6 1/2 months today.

Sleep last night was good after a few days of not so good sleep. [Teething, maybe?] So yeah last night she went down at 10:30pm, up at 1am, up at 6am, up for good at 10:30am. And the 1am and 6am feedings were easy and she didn't need help going back to sleep. I feel refreshed.

I don't even want to get into what her sleep was like 2 nights ago. Just picture 2 very sleepy women handing a screaming and very awake baby back and forth with the clock reading 3:52.

Off to MI tomorrow. C's first time crossing the border.

Bitter Sweet

C turned 6 months today. I swear she grew a bunch overnight! She was born 6 months ago at 6:50pm. I didn't know I had a baby girl until I woke up at 10 to 8pm - well after that when the nurse in recovery found out and then told me. I had C via c-section and I was under a general anaesthetic. My heart hurts that I was not there to welcome her to the world. Even more that her baba couldn't be there to welcome her. I feel tremendous sadness about it all today. We looked at the clock at various points and said, 6 months ago right now contractions started, the midwife came, water broke, left for the hospital, she was born, etc.

Last week I was aware of the intense fear I felt when they rolled me in to the OR - feeling contractions and freaking scared of the general and the knife and for my baby's life.

Today it is sadness.

And I am so happy she is here, so pleased, so in love, so in awe. She is everything. Everything to me. My heart aches with these joyful feelings too.

Intense Baby

Mamas of babies who are past 6 months: Please tell me it is normal for my almost 6 month old to get so freaking frustrated (to the point where she screams) at not being able to crawl to desired toys. Please tell me it is normal for my almost 6 month old to have what appears to be a tantrum because she can't roll back over.

And please help me out here. Do I just fetch the toys for her (this is what I am doing)? Or, help her move/creep/crawl to the toy? Or, just let her figure it out (you know as a way to gain the crawling skills)?

Should I be worried that her freaking out now is somehow indicative of the intensity of her personality and that when she is 2 she is going to have major tantrums? Is there a correlation?

The 6 Month Assessment

The developmental resources case worker came out today to assess baby C. This is part of her birth follow-up. This was the second meeting with the case worker. C is 5 1/2 months old and the 6 month assessment was used. She's meeting most milestones.

Then C and I went to the mall to get ingredients for banana muffins. This is the mall that has underground parking - so we never really have to bundle up and I can put her in the wrap just outside the car. This is also the mall that has a grocery store attached to it - so we can get our bananas and whatnot for our muffins. This is also the mall with so many elderly people who smile at C. She smiles back. Seriously she is more likely to smile big at a lovely worn face than any other kind of face.

She is asleep at my boob right now - I am typing with one hand - bless her. And when she wakes up, it'll be muffin time!

Shifting

We met with the developmental resources people this past Thursday. Actually it was a woman and she came to our house. C is looking good and meeting milestones. We will meet with the woman a few more times in C's first year, and then the case will most likely be closed.

I was pretty nervous that morning.

I had to tell C's birth story - or at least the parts that necessitated the developmental resources woman coming out to assess C.

• On the morning of the day C was born she wasn't moving in utero
• When my water broke it was dark with meconium
• She wasn't recovering well when my uterus contracted
• Emergency c-section
• I had to go under general anaesthetic because my intake bloodwork indicated infection
• Her 1 minute apgar was 1 or 2 (at 5 minutes it was 8)
• She had meconium in her lungs and tummy
• She was in NICU for 5 days

So yeah I had to share the hard stuff with this woman. And I didn't cry. Believe me I have cried so many times about all of this - to the nurse at the PPD group, to the other women in the PPD group, to my mom, to my therapist, to my best friend over the phone, to my midwife, to my partner, and in the 3am darkness as I fed C... I have felt shame, guilt, anger and just plain sadness. But this time when I told it, I felt pretty calm. I don't think I was numb or removed, because I remember for a fleeting moment feeling proud for us for being so strong and courageous.

Milestones

C turned 4 months today. Today she rolled over - several times - then figured out how to get her arms out in front of her - then pushed up her upper body - several times.

Today she put her toes into her mouth - is that a milestone?

She was also chewing on toys, pacifier, fingers, etc. Teething, perhaps?

She is grabbing at toys now too. Not always efficiently. But grabbing nonetheless.

Most of this happened overnight. Literally.

Incidentally, we are meeting with Developmental Resources people at some point, soon. They are going to assess whether C is meeting milestones. There was some concern about oxygen to her brain due to the meconium in her lungs at birth. Doctors did do an MRI when she was a few days old and said she was "normal," but Developmental Resources scheduled a follow-up anyway. Makes sense. So we shall see.

Zig-a-zig-ahhh

In a few days C will be 4 months.

She is laughing more and more now.

Yesterday we baked cookies to share with the neighbours. A wore C in the wrap and we 3 danced to The Sp1ce G1rls, while the cookies cooled. And C just laughed and laughed.

Hearing your baby laugh is wonderful.

My Little Grrl is Growing Up

C has grown out of the swaddle. For the last few weeks she has been able to wiggle her way out of her wrap. The other morning I went in and the wrap was covering her face. Somehow she wiggled herself into that position. Not good. So no more swaddle at night. She has slept well. So we can safely say she's grown out of it. (We are still swaddling for naps because she is a light sleeper during the day).

Another thing she has grown out of is this cute little face she used to make. She would purse her lips. I think she was pooping when she did this. But it was so cute. I never caught it on film. Though there is a photo of me making the same face when I was her age. Anyway, she's not makin' the face anymore.

Here is something else that is different. She is almost 4 months old and in the last few days her schedule (not that she was ever on one to begin with) has totally changed. (I suppose "pattern" is a better word than "schedule"). She is sleeping less and eating less (or maybe just getting more food in at a time). Ch ch ch changes.